SINGLE BUT LOOKING

Since everything seems to be not right this few weeks, I decide to entertain myself with cooking something. A simple dish and yet enough to make me full till death. For everyone out there, you should try this. And to the parent who always busy and left your children at home, teach them to cook this.

The Ingredients :
Potato (As much as you want to eat)
Egg (2 to 3 enough la)
Salt (Depend on how much your potato)
Chilli or tomato sauce

The Preparation:
Cut the potato in a smaller size or may be thin slice so that it will be crunchy. After you cut it, have a break a while la. A lot ma to cut. For me, I sip one cigarette first la. Then mix the egg with the salt. Need to take a break again for cigarette? No need la. Pour the egg on your slice of potato. Make sure you pour it as sexy as you can. Why? Just because may be your neighbour are stalking on you. Then deep fry it until it looks goldish a bit. Serve it with chilli or tomato sauce. There you go. Enjoy!!

Do you ever fall in love with someone and yet for you to be with that someone are the most impossible thing in this world? Or maybe for you to build that relationship are almost 0% chances? You know that there are no posibility that you will get a good feedback from you feeling. Get what mean? Ok like this, take for an example me (Please GOD, why me!). Let say I fall in love with Paris Hilton*(term and condition apply), the chances that we will be together are almost 0%. Even if I have her number, the chances are still 0. No matter what the fact are. Even if I say me and Paris Hilton are “Secocok” or “Bagai Pinang Dibelah Dua” or whatever you call it. And also if I say to her “You Die, I Die” or “You Jump I Jump” or whatever you call it. And also if there are synonyms between us “You are the clay and I am the pot” or “You are the Sari and I will be the bra” or whatever you call it.

The fact is we are still could not be together. Those are apply here. I know the fact that she will reject my love (Of course you idiot!!). That’s the fact. I could not force her to feel that to me. I know she is far beyond my reach. I know that love is not just for a matter of second. It could be your lifetime. Not that I try to be sentimental here, but I try to face the fact of wht realy happen right now. So to make thing not complicated, try to not think of it (Which I lie). By the way, Dr. Jane sends me some of her picture. Why I didn’t post it here, because she is TOTTALY mine, I mean the picture. Want to see it? Over my death body!!

* Liv Tyler, Scarlett Johanson, Ivanka trump, Cristin Dunst (If i list all of it, it will look like a song lyric.hahaha…)

For this post, I really need everyone’s opinion. I mean who ever read this. Few weeks already I could not pee properly. When I pee, my “stuff” get really painful. The thing is, it is not there all the time. Sometime it is so damn painful and sometime the painful are gone. It keep bugging me since when it is painful I could not even “pleasure” myself (I bet you know what I mean). When he is in a deep pain, he just sleep all day (giggling!!!). He is nothing when it is in a deep pain. Useless, no hope at all.

If you ask me why I didn’t go to clinic, here’s the thing. How do I tell the doctor what my problem is? What will I say to the Doctor? Here are what I am thinking of:

“Doctor, my ‘brother’ are in big problem and he is really sick” kata EvilLionel
“Then why are you coming, not your brother?” kata HotDoctor (what I imagine was, the doctor are “hottest doctor” ever, before I meet another hot doctor)
“He is with me now” kata EvilLionel (I say this while giggling.hahaha…)
“I could not see him?” kata HotDoctor
“Of course you can’t see him, he is …(while pointing at my ’stuff’)” kata EvilLionel
“Owh My God!! I can wait to see him!! Come Come I see it (You see, she come already even though I didn’t do anything) ” kata HotDoctor
“Do what ever you wish doctor!!” kata AngelLionel

Can you imagine all that? Can you imagine what will happen to me? May be I just end up making baby’s instead of solving my problem. Other situation is, if the doctor happen to be a man?(Please God, help me!!) What would I say? And here again what I am thinking of the situation:

“Doctor, my penis are painful and I could not pee properly” kata AngelLionel
“Owh My God!!You get out of my clinic now!!You are such a fucking gay!!” kata EvilDoctor

Can you imagine all that? Can you imagine what will happen to me? May be I just end up outside the clinic in a deep painful without solving my problem. To any one out there, do give some suggestion to me. By the way, to all “HotDoctor” out there, lets play “nasty” thing!!hahaha-ketawa EvilLionel.

This few days I thing I am in a big depression. Got a lot of thing to catch, assignment to finish, PSM(Punca Segala Masalah), and much more. Other thing that bordering me so much are the feeling of “loneliness”. I don’t even know where those feeling came from. I guess those feeling are God”s greatest gift to human. I mean “partner” in their life. What I mean here are someone that can love you, comfort you, understand you, can talk to you when you are down, and the most important part are that someone be part of you. At certain part of life you need someone other then you family or may be someone that going to be your lifetime partner to be there beside you. Even though that I am not really good in my religious (going to church on every Sunday doesn’t mean you are good enough) , I do believe in God and this can be found in the Holly Bible:

Genesis 3:18 And God said, It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a help met for him. First He created one and the other later for support and relationship BECAUSE it was not good to be alone. He could have very well left him alone but he wanted him to have a physical human helper while he inhabited the earth. There is no great love than for another to lay down his life for another. Love is the answer.

Clearly that God created man to have someone in their life. I guess that I can’t even fight those feeling. Everyone could not even hide from this feeling. After all I am just a normal human, and I guess this feeling are normal for me to have. Feeling attracted to someone are very basic in feeling. Not that I am thinking of being married. That is a big NO for that!! Just that I need someone to brighten up my day, someone that can cheer me up, some one to take care of me. Not that I don’t even know how to take good care of myself. In the Holy Bible also did mention this:

Corinthians 13:4-13 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. . .And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Also clearly that Love is the greatest thing that God ever created. To be love and love back are the most wonderful thing that happen in this world. Huh…There are nothing that I can do for all of this. I guess I have to handle it wisely from now on. After all life goes on.

To someone, “Don’t you still get what I mean for what I have done? Ha? Ha?” Hehehe…..

To brighten up your day I have this song for you. I say everything which is deep inside my heart thought this song.

Since I met you baby
My whole life has changed
Since I met you baby
My whole life has changed
All my friends tell me I’m not the same
Let me tell you
Since I met you baby, I’m a happy man
Since I met you baby,
Looks like I’m a happy man

I’m gonna try and please you
In every way that I can
Let me tell you

I don’t need nobody
To tell my troubles to
I don’t need nobody
To tell my troubles to

Oh, ‘cause since I met you baby
All I need is you
And oh, pretty baby
You know I love you baby
Better than I do myself
When I’m with you
I don’t need nobody else
Love me in the morning
You got to love me late at night
Love me in the morning
You got to love me late at night
When you love me
I hope everything is all right

She told me that she will be leaving to Russia this Friday. So this song I dedicate to her. Hope she like it and do remember me always. Even I just newly keep in touch with her, I guess I am going to miss her too. I will always pray to God that she will be fine there and your smile will brighten the world. To Sally, this song are for you……

All my bags are packed I’m ready to go
I’m standing here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breaking
This early morning
The taxi’s waiting, he’s blowing his horn
I’m ready, I’m so lonesome I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you’d wait for me
Hold me like you’ll never let me go
‘Cause I’m leaving on a jet plane
I don’t know when I’ll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

There so many times I’ve let you down
So many times I’ve played around
But I am now, they don’t mean a thing
Every place I go I think of you
Ever song I sing I sing for you
When I come back I’ll wear your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you’d wait for me
Hold me like you’ll never let me go
‘Cause I’m leaving on a jet plane
I don’t know when I’ll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Well now the time has come to leave your
One more time now let me kiss you
Close your eyes and I’ll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I won’t have to leave alote
About the times that I won’t have to say

Oh kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you’d wait for me
Hold me like you’ll never let me go
‘Cause I’m leaving on a jet plane
I don’t know when I’ll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

But I’m leaving on a jet plane
Don’t know when I’ll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

But I’m leaving on a jet plane
Leaving on a jet plane

p/s: sorry I can’t get a nicer video.

This is what she comment for what I wrote about her, and I want to answer all her comment badly. When I say that must be some of you would say “Owh no this is not going to be right!!!” Hahaha…. By the way, I am in a serious mood while I did this. Not influence by any “Evil Lionel” which mean it come from deep inside my empty heart.

I reply it by every sentence she wrote. First sentence, “Thank you for the complement. Waiting for it so long time a go. Hope you enjoy it”. Second sentence “You did feel surprise? Well, all those are from deep inside my empty heart. You are really perfect. By the way, if every one say that you are perfect, your world will be dull honey. You will not feel special at all if every one say that to you”. Then, next sentence “Well, I knew it!! I did make your day? Huh…nice. Don’t say thank you to me, not my word”. Next sentence and the third and second last “I am glad that you like it. You do take care too. Can’t wait for that day, if can I want to see you every day. Haha…”. And I love to answer the last sentence “I want!!! I want!!! Does that mean we play Doctor and Bad Nurse? I want!!! I want!!!”

I have told you, I was not influence by any “Evil Lionel”.

It’s been a while I didn’t contact her. Recently I send message to her and she reply it. Then I thought I want to write something about her. She was my ex school mate. If I were not mistaken, we were also in the same playschool until secondary school. I never meet her ever since we finish school. I never heard anything about her also when we finish school. The last thing I know about her, she was going to Russia to do medic. I guess there are nothing in comment between us that make both of us didn’t contact each other. Other then that I don’t know how am I going to contact her. I didn’t have her number, I don’t have her e-mail and nothing at all. She is in Russia and I am here.

Why I am posting about her, just because she is a wonderful girl that I ever know. I admit that I do admire her back then. I use to label her as “Wanita Koperat”. I call her that because she use to be so detail in every thing. Her style are just like a business women. She look so exclusive and perfect. Her clothing, her sitting position, her talking, her appearance and many more about her that I like. Even when she play organ in church also can make me melt. She is so damn perfect. I have no word to describe how wonderful she was.

If I was not mistaken, she also one of the most “wanted” girl in school. I guess most of them are just dreaming to be her prince charming since she just think of her “business”. After all she is “Wanita Koperat”. I keep on thinking, why did I call her that. She didn’t even know that I call her that. I didn’t even know when I start to call her that also. I never really sit and talk to her nicely. I mean how would you talk to someone that don’t even know how to sit properly and talk nicely. Every word are just joke and it’s not her, it’s me. I regret that. . . Err. . . No I don’t. Err. . . I don’t know!!

Although all that really nice about her, she was just very ordinary girl. She never being cocky to any one. Her prince charming (why not me GOD!!) must be so lucky to have her. The world is so complete with her. Everything seems to be right with her beside you (I mean me. Over my death body if you want her.haha..). By the way, after she done her medic, I want to be her first patient. I want her to heal my empty heart!!

In the near future, I hope I can still get to see her.